My observation took place in my beautician's home. My hair stylist runs her salon out of her home. She has one 3 yr old son who I think is just adorable. When I arrived my stylist set up some activities for her son in his room as well as a television program. He played and watched quietly for over an hour. I commented to her that her son is very independent, and I am a bit surprised that he has not entered the room after all this time. Just as I said this her son came out. He began asking his mom for food, naming off several different things. She replied to him “no, that's why I fed you a big meal before she arrived so you wouldn't interrupt me.” It was obvious by his response that he understands he must listen to his mom and also wants her approval. But even with this knowledge he still communicated his needs. He began to ask “I'm not hungry mommy?” He repeated this several times until she directed him back to his room. The child stayed in there another 30 minutes then returned to ask again “I'm not hungry mommy?” She again stated that there was no way he could have been hungry because she fed him prior to my arrival. By this time I had been there over 2 hrs. I kindly suggested that she tend to her son and I didn't mind waiting. After a snack her son again began playing with his toys independently. He pretended to race his car around the room. At one point he stopped and said “Mommy, your the best mommy I ever had.”
I noticed that the child was communicating his hunger and desire for a snack. When asking outwardly did not get him what he wanted, he then began to question his mom about his own needs until she responded to what he wanted. I do not believe that he would have stopped stating in the manner of a question “I'm not hungry mommy?”, until he received what he wanted. I believe that this child figured out a way to communicate his need, likely from past experience pertaining to his mom's work environment that also serves as his home. Many children may have whined and tantrumed in this situation of feeling ignored, but he remained calm and persistent.
When communicating with children, they need to feel respected. It is important not to close children off with the walls of our assumptions( laureate Education, 2011). We should be receptive to their communication styles. In the communication example I observed I felt that the mom was not receptive to the child's communication in this situation. She was preoccupied with her business. I feel that she could have taken the time to explain to the child in clear concrete words what she wanted while paying attention to his needs. For example, She could have said I will get you a small snack now, and then when I am finished I will make you lunch. Using the words now and then would have given him an idea of what was to expect, and provided confirmation that she was being attentive to his needs. When the child finally received what he was asking for, he was grateful and felt connected by stating “your the best mommy I ever had”.
This example taught me that children are unique in their communication styles. Although they are unique children really only desire respect and to be heard just as adults do. There are some occasions when I as well become preoccupied with my own tasks and may not listen attentively to my son. This occurs mostly when I am doing homework. I make it a point to communicate to my son what homework means and why it is important. Talking about this with my son has helped both of us because he now doesn't feel that he is being purposely ignored and he allows me some quiet time to get my work done. Also we make use of our free time by spending time doing something special together. Although this is working now, he still tells me that he'll be glad when I'm done with school. I tell him soon.
