Two weeks ago a friend of mine decided to have a small get together at her home. I knew all the girls who were attending. I would consider two of them my friends and the others acquaintances. I was the only African American girl other than the host who is bi-racial. I was having a good time. The atmosphere was light and fun. One girl who is always a comedian was dancing to the music in a joking manner and we were all laughing. The radio station played a song called Dougie? (I think) It’s a rap song that’s out right now and I hear sometimes when listening to the Radio. There is a dance that goes along with it. Anyhow, one of the girls said “Oh I like this song. Come on Leon’e show us how to do the Dougie.” Well…let’s just say anyone who knows me knows that I cannot dance because I don’t have rhythm. Also I don’t listen to rap music unless it’s on the radio, which is not very often. So I am way out of the rap loop. I replied “I don’t know the Dougie because I’m not cool.” She laughed and the gathering continued. I knew at the time that she made either a joke or an assumption, but which ever, there were racial indications behind this comment. I wasn’t too upset about this because I thought she probably was unaware of what had taken place, especially because we were amongst friends.
This incident did not change my perception of stereotypes. I have encountered and witnessed many levels of racism, prejudices, and stereotyping. I do believe that my response to microaggressions with underlying messages of marginalization has changed, at least when directed at myself. 15years ago that experience may have hurt my feelings. Today I feel that I am better at protecting my feelings. Part of that protection is maturity, self confidence, and understanding differences in others and those hurtful comments aren’t always intentional. If it were a encounter that significantly bothered me I do believe that I would address it accordingly.
