Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

Any related situations, thoughts, concerns, questions, and/or areas of discomfort you would like to share related to children, gender, and sexual orientation

Having my own 4 yr old son I have especially noticed the gender differences in children's toys, movies, and other games and activities.  These differences begin at birth with color specifications of gender.  My son is now at the age where he has begun to recognize social acceptances of gender roles.  For example, there was a commerical on television which advertised talking stuffed animals.  The commercial highlighted the product by using many shades of pink and purple, and most of the participants were young girls.  There was a short glimpse of a boy playing with one of the animals.  My son looked at me and said "That's not for me because I'm a boy, and he shouldn't play with it either".  I don't buy toys for my child that are associated with female gender, but at the same time he has never asked for that either.  In this occasion I responded to my son, "That looks like it is for all kids, boys and girls".   Thinking back I could have expanded on this by asking why he felt this toy is only for girls.  Asking the question would have opened opportunity for discussion about gender identity.

How you would respond to a parent/family member who informed you they did not want anyone who is perceived (or self-reported) homosexual or transgender to be caring for, educating, and/or interacting with their child?

In my profession as a counselor I had an experience where a parent threatened to end services if I ever discussed or encouraged homosexuality with their child (20yrs old).  This happened on the first day of introduction.  I handled it by informing that parent what is discussed will be left to the client will not be shared because it is not required by law once a child turns 13, unless the safety of the child an or others may be compromised.  Working with children in an early childhood program, my response would be much different to feelings of homosexuality.  I would attempt to find out what their fears are and convince them that any views of sexuality of heterosexuality would not be forced upon their child or any children in the program.  I would discuss the importance of creating a nurturing partnership between the facility and all families, and that sexuality beliefs do not play a significant role in children's development. I have not had class room experience or dealt with this issue directly involving families; but I believe that professionals must do their best to compromise and understand the wishes of the family even if they do not agree.  In some cases this just may not be completely possible and the program may not be a good fit for the child.

Reflecting on Communication in the Early Childhood Field

This course has been tremendously enlightening in gaining understanding in methods and perceptions of communicating, as well as collaborative strategies in setting andreaching goals.  I would like to thank each of my colleagues that I have had the pleasure to correspond with during these past 8 weeks and through out this Master's program.  I am looking forward to the next transition and wish everyone much luck and success in the future. 

Adjourning

I have only experienced difficulty adjourning from a group which I was involved on one occasion.  Growing up and through undergrad I played sports year round.  The main sport that I excelled in was fast pitch softball.  Adjourning from my team at the end of each season was a bit tough.  When I was younger, the emotions related to adjourning were not as intense as when I grew older.  This is likely because when I played sports at a young age I had other sports to look forward to, and often I had the same teammates from one sport to the next. 

At an older age playing in college, the last game of my senior year was challenging.  This is because I was aware of the end of my athletic journey as well as the camaraderie that I had formed with my teammates over the previous four years of my experience.  Each season our team set out to accomplish the same goals, to win our division and our conference.  We all had sight of this goal and learned to work together in attempt to achieve it.  Along the way there was much adversity to overcome such as injuries, competition within the team, or individual conflicts amongst teammates, but we depended on each other for success.  So ultimately if we wanted to achieve our goals we had to work out our struggles to the best of our ability.  

Despite the internal challenges that my teammates and I faced, it was difficult to let go of the relationships that I had built as well as the feeling of belonging that I had with particular group of people.  We all shared the same passion for this particular sport and worked equally as hard to reach a desired outcome.  I do believe high performance groups in this sense are not easy to walk away from.

What I did appreciate about the adjournment period was the acknowledgement of each participant of the team at the end of their senior year.  This along with the memorabilia left us with something to hold on to from the group and share with others. 

It is important to have closure to finalize an experience, including in this master’s program.  I believe that we have come to know each other through discussion and blog pots and hopefully can attend the graduation ceremony together at the end of the program.

Communication Conflicts

Currently I am not experiencing any conflicts within my work place but can remember alt least one occasion when I have. There was a particular intern, who is no longer at the agency, who I struggled with when it came to communicating. This intern was designated a small caseload of clients, however I was the assigned clinician. I found that the intern would not communicate pertinent information involving the case. At first I thought that somehow she did not understand what information should be communicated or perhaps she was not used to working as a team. I discussed with her why we work as a team within the agency and how we must communicate with each other regarding the clients we serve. Following this conversation, there was a major incident where particular protocol was to be followed. However, once again she withheld information that needed to be made aware within our team. Since she was an intern, it was not as difficult to solve this challenge. She was given less responsibility and eventually the internship ended.

One communication conflict strategy that I learned is to share knowledge of education so that people can meet needs and expectations. I could have put more effort in to teaching this intern about the importance of communication and collaboration when working with others who also serve as supports for the clients. As well, I could have done more by helping her understand what types of information needs to be shared and documented accordingly.

Another strategy that I could have used is creating a more balanced atmosphere which would lead to open communication on an equal level. As an intern she may have felt less power in the situation and perhaps unsure of how to communicate within that role.

I believe that these strategies from the 3 R's could be applied to this conflict. Learning about conflict resolution in communication has helped me understand mistakes I have made in the past that led to negative outcomes. I will apply the skills I have learned in the future in attempt to avoid conflicts in communication.

communication similarities and differences

I was surprised at listening styles profile score, according to my co-worker. When I took the test my score for my self was in group 1. Meaning that I am empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others. My husband also scored me in the same group. My co worker however, Scored me in group 2. Meaning that I am “business-like” and my efficiency may intimidate more sensitive listeners. Thinking about this, I suppose that when I am at work I present and communicate differently with my coworkers than with friends or family. I also communicate and present differently with my clients. It is almost as if I categorize my relationships and how I interact within those relationships. I have always been self aware of this but perhaps not to the extent that I needed to be. I would have expect my coworker to also see me as an empathetic listener.

This week I discovered that my past experiences greatly influence the way in which I communicate. I believe these influences have to do with mindlessness and reactions to schemas that I have formed from past interactions.

I also discovered that I subconsciously use self monitoring when interacting with others. I find myself reading cues and knowing how to present myself in situations according to the environment.

I believe that both of these qualities balance my interaction and communication with others. I feel that having a balance of past interaction and present relativity will be helpful when working with children and families.

Cultural Diversity and Communication

Communication is the process of which individuals use symbols, signs, and behaviors to exchange information (O'Hair & Weimann, 2009). We use communication to begin, maintain, and end relationships. The interactive relationships that I have developed in my life consist of family, friends, and colleagues. Each of these relationships are important but different in how I use communication exchanges. Naturally my family and most of my friends share similarities of cultural aspects, i.e. race, religion, marital status, and interest, and lifestyle. In my work place I interact with a much more culturally diverse group, and I must be mindful of this factor which influences communication. One such factor is the diversity amongst my self, clients, and other employees. Diversity can create potential misunderstandings or conflict stemming from the way we each individually make sense out of the world (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011). I believe that I do find my self communicating differently in the work environment because of the variations in age, gender, sexual orientation , ethnicity, and intellectual ability. This is partly because I have learned to adapt to others and the environment according to the context of the relationship. For example when speaking with my clients who are developmentally disabled, I make sure I use appropriate language that meets their level of comprehension. At times I may also rely on pictures when communicating with an individual who is non verbal. Another example of adaptive communication in the work place is the way I communicate with other colleagues. I have closer relationships with some of my colleagues opposed to others. I find that when communicating with those I am closer to, I may share my personal opinion of topic that is non therapeutic and based on my background and upbringing. However, when communicating with a colleague who I do not have a close personal relationship with I generally give input based on therapeutic practices and what is generally acceptable to say in the situation. I believe this is because there are different levels of comfort.  Those I am closer to, I automatically know that they understand and accept me so I am comfortable displaying my self. Those I am not close to, I do not want to judge me out side of my professional abilities.

 

O’Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon. Chapter 4, "Interpersonal Communication and Diversity: Adapting to Others" (pp. 85–114)Copyright 2011 by Allyn & Bacon, Inc. Reprinted by permission of Allyn & Bacon, Inc., via the Copyright Clearance Center.

communication

The office:

This is a show that I have only seen previews for and not sure what plot it is actually based on. 

No audio:

In the episode there is a man who seems to be the leader and perhaps the boss.  Another man who is overweight seems to be portrayed as lazy because of his size and lack of attention in the meeting.   The “boss” who is leading the meeting uses cues such as nonverbal gestures i.e. pointing, and large hand movements.  He appears to demand control and dislike challenges. 

(This is an advertising company.  The meeting is about directions to the office garden party.  The boss is instructing his employees on eating and proper etiquette for the party.  Even though the overweight man is does not appear to be paying attention, he asked a question that pertains to the party. )

No audio:

In the lunch room there are two ladies.  One is pregnant.  They are having a conversation.  One of them looks surprised as if she is discovering new information.  I would assume from this scene that the ladies are gossiping about someone in the office.

(Both of the ladies are pregnant and discussing pregnancy topics.  One of them becomes surprised when the other reveals the name of the baby which turns out to be the same for both.)

No audio:

There is a party held outside of work.  The office workers attend the party with spouses.  They appear to be making attempts to impress someone who may be a large business investor or maybe the person who the party is in honor of.  The boss of the office is very disappointed in what transpired at the party, though several comedic unprofessional events. 

(They party is in attempt to impress the CEO and ultimately the boss’s parents. The boss’s official title is regional manager and he is seeking the same acceptance as his brother receives from their parents.  The man whom he seems to be seeking the most attention from is his dad.  Without Audio I thought the man was his Boss.)   

No audio:

Also there seems to be a competitive nature between the women in the earlier scene in the lunch room.  I would assume they are competing for credit.  Following this others in the room begin competing for attention while making speeches.  The tone of the room appears that the behavior has become embarrassing; however, everyone begins to join in and smile.  This indicates that they are enjoying the moments.   

(The ladies continue to compete over the name of their child.  The CEO gives a speech that discredits the boss and himself and uplifts the employees followed by the dad’s duet with the son.  This allows the son to feel the acceptance he’s been looking for until the other brother joins their dad in song.  The facial expression of the boss (son) is disappointed and he runs off.  Without audio I assumed he was upset about the antics of the employees at the office while everyone els appeared happy.)

It was very different watching with audio.  I was able to put together the verbal and nonverbal cues to understand the interactions with the characters.  Without audio I had to use assumptions based on non verbal cues only which made my assumptions only partly accurate.  I believe that I would have been more accurate in my assumptions if this were a show that I had known well.  This is because I would know who the characters are and their personalities.   Although, I do not believe that I could be completely accurate without the verbal cues and context of communication.